Promoting Our Children's Spiritual Health

Everyone has plenty of opinions on what it means to raise up a child in the way that he or she should go. But when there is quantifiable research to back up certain methods, we are wise to pay attention. LifeWay Research recently conducted a study with the parents of 3,472 adult children who had been raised to be Christian by their parents. There were eight observable points assigned to try and measure the spiritual health of the adult children: (1) They identify as “Christian”, (2) they share their faith with unbelievers, (3) they actively attend a church, (4) they read the Bible regularly, (5) they have a serving role in a church, (6) they teach others at church, (7) they serve in the community, (8) they support local or foreign missions. 

The research was looking to see of those grown children who scored the highest, what were the factors that contributed to them becoming dedicated Christian adults? Of the 3,472 adult children studied, 85% of them were at least 1-point on the scale, meaning they at least identified as Christian. A full 39% of those surveyed fit this category, but also said they did nothing else besides wear the name “Christian.” Another 11% did not identify as Christian. But what about those who scored higher? What factors drive young people to stay in the faith, and even more, to actually practice their faith as adults? 

The research investigated 40 different factors, and there were five practices that showed a significant correlation between the child’s younger years and their later taking ownership in their faith. The five most common factors were:

• 29% regularly read the Bible on their own. (This factor alone could predict a 12.5% higher likelihood a child was going to stay dedicated to God.)
• 28% had a regular prayer life
• 33% regularly served in church
• 22% listened primarily to Christian music, rather than secular
• 27% had participated in a church mission trip

Those conducting the research noted that if a child had all five of these practices in their youth, this made them 41% more likely to become active Christian adults.

Parents, there were also several behaviors that showed great promise in helping children develop those life-shaping habits. The parents who were most successful:

• Read the Bible several times per week
• Took part in a service project or mission trip as a family
• Shared their faith with unbelievers
• Encouraged their teenagers to serve in church
• Asked forgiveness when they messed up as a parent
• Encouraged their children’s unique talents and interests
• Took annual family vacations
• Attended churches with teaching that emphasized “what the Bible says”
• Taught their children to tithe

What is interesting to me about this research is that the findings seem so obvious. We need to be deliberate about our choices and actions, because our children observe and repeat them. Are we actually reading the Word and listen to things that inspire us? Do we actually make time to pray? Do we generously support the church? Do we serve in God’s mission locally and abroad? When parents model this behavior and then encourage it in the lives of your children, the research shows again and again, it pays off. Don’t neglect the fundamentals!  

To learn more about this research, you can find the study here.

Making Space

If I could summarize meaningful leadership in one phrase, I would call it "making space." This begins with God. God imagined the living things he would create, and he made a space that we could occupy to fulfill the purposes for which we were made. To some degree, every time we empower another person to become more than what they are, we have created a space that they can inhabit in a new way. I think Ephesians 2:10 expresses this idea well:

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

We have the blessing of participating in God's work, but it took God as our leader to create the opportunities for the good works we are able to do. It has something to do with our own initiative, but it has every bit as much to do with God knowing our potential and taking the initiative to give us the space to grow.

In every relationship, there are power dynamics involved. Generally, whether for reasons of age, experience, title, or seniority, in most interactions and scenarios there is a person who has more power and a person or people with less power. Whether they realize it or not, those with power are gatekeepers for how everyone else is able to function and to experience the possibility of growth. I want to invite you to think about the areas in your life where you might possess some type of control, and how people are being affected by your use of power.

What about the person with a great talent who is too shy and uncertain to ask for the opportunity to use it? How about the person who won't be noticed because of their ethnicity or economic status, for whom your influence might could open a door? Who do you know that feels bound by past mistakes and would be deeply blessed if someone were to offer them the chance to be thought of as a valuable person, and not just a "guilty" person? What would it take to create enough space for a second chance for them? What difference could a little of your assistance make? Many of us would not be where we are had there not been someone willing to take a chance on us and give us some space to grow. "Come and help me. Let me show you how."

This is equally true of groups. Need stronger relationships among your people? Create and schedule a space where friendships can develop. Wish that people showed more initiative? Ask them and learn from them what you could do to help remove barriers that are deterring them. Want to move in a new direction? Let your people help you to imagine the world you are all wishing to inhabit together.

People who don't feel powerful will seldom succeed in seizing opportunities for themselves, and might not get up the nerve to try. When you think about people who are a few years behind you, with a little less experience than you and fewer connections than you, I wonder in whom you might could invest a little of yourself so that they have the space to become something more? You--yes, even you--might be intimidating to the person who needs you the most, and doesn't know how to ask for your help. We should be grateful that God sought us out to bless us, even before we knew we needed him. Perhaps we can do the same for others.

The Great Revealing

Mystery is interesting. At Christmas time, with God's help, we mature to where we enjoy giving more than we enjoy receiving. But the excitement of gift giving comes in part from the mystery involved therein. Whether you're the young child trembling in anticipation of what could be underneath the beautifully colored paper and ribbons, or you're the giver, watching for the look of joy that appears on another person's face because you've blessed them in some way, it is the cheerful unveiling of a mystery by someone we love which provides us with a deep sense of satisfaction. If it weren't so satisfying, it is hard to imagine this tradition in late December would have persisted for the many years that it has.

While we wait for the mystery to be revealed, most of our focus is on the packaging. It's the shape and size of the box that gets our imagination going. It's the patterns and colors in the wrapping that keeps us guessing what could be inside. But once the gift is revealed, the packaging is discarded, because the gift itself is greater than the packaging.

In Romans 8:19, Paul says that all of creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. The earth, subjected to many centuries of bloodshed and corruption, stands trembling in anticipation, waiting for Christ to return and for all of God's faithful children to be revealed, to receive their crowns and their beautiful white garments, and to have their proud Father say, "Well done!"

But for now, we're stuck most of the time looking at the world's packaging, and it has not always been well wrapped. Some of this is because of the ugliness of people's choices, their dishonesty, and their corruption. Some of it is shiny and gaudy, because people shower themselves with luxuries, never thinking to share with those who struggle to get by. If you look at history books and magazines, you'll see leaders and dictators, tycoons and socialites. But underneath this crinkly thin exterior, God has many children whose stories remain hidden from sight.

People tend to look past or even avoid the things God thinks are beautiful. The family member who puts their own life and ambitions on hold to be a caregiver for another family member. The person who quietly sends anonymous support to another family who needs the help. The person who accepts a thankless responsibility that no one else wants so that others can be blessed. The quiet things you do because of your love for God are the hidden treasures in this world that, for now, often only God knows.

Jesus has told us to stay dedicated and not to be afraid, because one day all things covered are going to be revealed, and all things hidden are going to be made known (Matthew 10:26). God is going to tear off and discard the world's shallow packaging, and reveal the beautiful treasures that have been hidden from everyone but himself. The real stories will be told, and those quiet souls who've shared God's love without reservation or recognition will be held up and celebrated as the gift to the world that they are; the pride of their Father. It will be the cheerful unveiling of a hidden mystery, and one that we hope to make even more beautiful because of our own unseen devotion. Spend your life showing kindness and mercy with God as your only intended audience. God is watching, and everything is more beautiful when it is revealed in God's good timing.

A Few Predictions

This is a post for my fellow Christians. I am neither a prophet, nor the son of a prophet, but I'd like to make a few predictions. I don't know about for you, but for me, social media has been nearly unbearable for the last couple of weeks. There are lots of people talking, but so few who are listening, and even fewer who seem interested in the credibility of what they are sharing. I try to remind myself that all complaining about social media is ridiculous, because participating in these platforms is a completely optional thing to do. But the truth is, we speak, post, and tweet from the overflow of our hearts (Luke 6:45). If social media is any indication, there are a lot of strong emotions, both positive and negative, which people have been feeling. 

So whether you are elated or horrified by current events, here are a few predictions I would like to make:

1. The world we live in will continue to be a messed up place.
Even when there are fixes for some of society's problems, other areas will be neglected, and still others may be over-corrected. People who've grown up one way in one place will continue having difficulty in understanding people who've grown up in another. No administration is ever going to relieve us of all problems. Our best case scenario for government is that it will make things better than they are for as many people as possible, and certainly, we hope and pray for this. But any government run by people will have all the flaws that its people do. This shouldn't surprise us. Only in the coming Kingdom of Christ can we know that all things will truly be as they should (Revelation 7:17). 

2. God will continue to do amazing things in the world, even through us.
It has never been our goal as people of faith to live in a problemless society. If we are willing to be taught, our problems can even be sources of tremendous personal growth for us when we persevere and endure. Life in this world will give us trouble, but Jesus has already overcome the world, and for this reason we should be encouraged (John 16:33). In fact, regardless of what happens with our nation or our culture, God is going to continue to work all things together for our good because we love him and he loves us (Romans 8:28). God has used good kings like David to bless nations (Acts 13:22), but he has also used terrible tyrants to serve his larger plan (Habakkuk 1:5-6). God is not limited by who is ruling over us. If we have eyes to see and ears to hear, we will continue to witness God doing amazing things in our lives and around the world, no matter who sits on any throne or in any office. God is still with us, and God is at work. 

3. Your happiness will be affected much more by your choice to walk with God than by any other external factor.
The only thing in your life that is truly unchanging is the love of God. When you make your choices based on financial prospects, threats, relationships, or peer pressure, some decisions turn out well and others turn out poorly. But you will never regret any action you take that comes from a pure place in your heart, driven by compassion and faith. God's love stays with you, no matter what, and nothing can take it away from you (Romans 8:38-39). Every extra prayer you offer, every extra bit of encouragement you give, and every time you do something difficult because you've been motivated to do so by your love of Christ, these are things that go with us into eternity, enduring longer than the earth itself (1 Peter 1:7). 

I encourage you to do all the good that you can and give the best parts of yourself to what matters most, then let God worry about the rest.