All important parts of life require planning. A lack of planning almost guarantees a lack of good development. This is true of sports, child development, education, and retirement. It is also true of our growth in Christ. Paul said as much in I Corinthians 9:27:
“But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”
Rules of Life
The word rule derives from the Latin word regula, from which we get words like “regular” and “regulate.” Having a Rule of Life is a way to organize your life to ensure that you are doing what is necessary to keep your faith growing and your character strengthening.
A Rule of Life really centers around two questions, which it combines into a third question:
1. Who do I want to be?
2. How do I want to live?
3. Put these together and you get: "How do I want to live so I can be who I want to be?"
Developing your own Rule of Life
Every person’s Rule of Life will be a bit different, as each of us have our own life situations, schedules, strengths, and weaknesses; all of which should be considered as we lay out a play for how we want to live. A good Rule of Life is thoughtful about life rhythms daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly. Here are some questions you should ponder in thinking about what elements you want to include and how often.
1. When I want to be closer to God, what do I typically find most helpful?
I addressed this in my previous post. Every person has some ways that naturally help them feel closer to God.
When you put a plant near a window, you have to rotate it fairly regularly to keep the plant from becoming lopsided. Why? Because plants grow towards what give them life. We are no different.
Begin by thinking about what for you is life-giving.
A typical list of personal spiritual disciplines would include:
Solitude, silence, prayer, reading Scripture, examining your conscience, confession, honoring your physical body (health & exercise), sabbath, fasting, journaling, fellowship, and worship.
2. What are problem areas in my life, and how can I change them or redeem them?
What is taking life from you? What is making you feel empty and discouraged? These things don't come from God.
All of us struggle with sin, and with tendencies that make us weaker in our faith. Most of us are painfully aware of what sins we struggle with. In addition to allowing time to pray about and repent of our shortcomings, it can be helpful to search for disciplines that move us to do the opposite of what weakens us.
For example, if you struggle deeply with gossip, it would be worth having deliberate time set aside to be silent in God’s presence, practicing the virtue of holding your tongue. If you spend a great deal of time fretting over relationships and how other people bother you, it would be good to have time set aside for regular self-examination where you focus more on what needs to be kept in order within your own life, and how you might affect others.
Another approach is to think about how we can learn to harness what is affecting us negatively in a way that helps us to grow. For example, a young parent might have very little opportunity for solitude or silence. The constant activity of young children could be a hindrance to spiritual growth, if the parent is seeking to grow primarily through silence and solitude. But if instead, the parent re-imagines time spent with children, it can be a source of growth. “Children are close to the heart of God, and when I spend time paying attention to how my children’s hearts work, it helps me to understand God’s heart better.”
3. What activities will stretch me as a Christian?
This relates to question one. Most of us have areas toward which we naturally gravitate. Introverted people find the disciplines of silence, solitude, and reflection very appealing. Extroverted people find fellowship, worship, and acts of service more appealing.
In addition to making time for what you naturally like to do, it is helpful to think about what areas of spiritual growth come less naturally to you, and commit to regularly experimenting with one or two of them regularly, as a challenge to yourself.
The introvert may need to have a time each month where he or she experiences deeper fellowship with other Christians, or is involved in acts of service that require being out and about. The extrovert may need to learn how to be alone with God, with times of deeper reflection on Scripture.
I was called out on this in a class a few years ago. Each of us had to develop a rule of life, then share it with two classmates who would give us feedback. I thought I had put together a perfect plan, but my classmate kindly pointed out to me that 100% of my plan I could accomplish by myself. As an introvert, I realized I needed to grow in the area of fellowship and service. This will likely never be the primary way I relate to God, but I know my commitment to participating in disciplines that are less natural to me will help me to be a more empathetic and well-rounded Christian.
4. When in my life can I realistically make more space for God?
Think about what times of the day you can start living differently. Do you greet God when you wake up each morning, or do you head straight for Facebook? How about meal times? Bed time?
What days of the week could be reclaimed as opportunities for growth? Are there other scheduled events in the year around which you should plan to spend more time?
5. Who will hold me accountable for growing in Christ?
As you develop a plan for how you want to live, it is important to have a person or two to whom you will be accountable for living by this plan. In addition to planning times of prayer, journaling, reading, and personal retreats, I line up people who will be spiritual companions for me in the next year. I try to always find one person I want to mentor me, and another whom I desire to encourage. I arrange to meet with each of them on a monthly basis for the next year. Often, we agree to read a book or two together over the year to give us something to share about. It has produced some really meaningful friendships for me over the last few years, and deeply blessed my Christian walk.
This is not to be a rigid, legalistic endeavor, but a flexible one, where you do the best you can, knowing that even if you miss some of your plan some of the time, you are still moving in a better direction because you have done so deliberately. Is there a person you could get with regularly for mutual friendship/sharing/mentoring as you both strive to be better Christians?
Forming a Personal Plan
The goal in this exercise is not to overburden yourself. The goal is to help you take some deliberate baby steps in implementing rhythms into your spiritual life that will help you grow towards your goal of being like Jesus.
The best Rule of Life is one that you will actually practice. Don't try to come up with a plan that Jesus himself couldn't live up to. Plan something that you really can do, and are willing to commit to. This Rule of Life practice is not for the purpose of creating a new Levitical code to provide you with a source of personal guilt. Sometimes you'll fail, and that's ok. Give yourself the grace of a new start and try again, and if you need to, revise the rule of life to work better for you.
“A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.” - Luke 6:40
Think about how your better life will look on a normal basis. Your personal Rule of Life should finally end up in a form like this (filled in, of course):
DAILY I will:
WEEKLY I will:
MONTHLY I will:
QUARTERLY I will:
YEARLY I will:
YEARLY I will:
For me, I learned that the only way to make sure I'll follow my plan is to schedule it on a Google Calendar; the same way I schedule all other important life events.
If we are going to live better, it won't happen on accident. Be responsible for your life, and commit your plans to the Lord.
Happy New Year!